Secret Santa
by jarran
Summary: It's that time of the year and Cooper arranges for the team to participate in Secret Santa. Much to Liz's misfortune, she has to figure out what gift to buy for the trickiest man alive. Red. She realizes what better gift to give him, than herself? [Red/Liz]. Will be two/three chapter fic. Possible M rating for final chapter.
1. Chapter 1

_**Since it's that time of the year, I thought I'd attempt to do a Christmas fic. This will be a two chapter story. Hope you find some enjoyment in it. Feel free to let me know :) Merry Christmas, and I hope you guys are safe and happy.**_

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><p><em><strong>Secret Santa<strong>_

It wasn't something they ordinary done at the task force, but Cooper came up with the idea all on his own.

He entered one morning, wearing his best suit and tie, hand clasped around his walking cane. In his other hand, was a Santa hat filled with names he had taken the effort to write-up the night before. It had been a successful year, mainly thanks to Agent Keen and her helpful informant, Reddington. They had brought down many criminals over the year and Cooper felt the team deserved to have a bit of fun and celebrate; Especially after all the personal trials each one of them had gone through.

So that was why he had the Santa hat dangling in his right hand.

"Attention everybody," he spoke up, lifting the Santa hat higher in the air so everyone could see it.

Agent Ressler groaned to himself and crossed his arms over his chest. Clearly Ressler was going to be The Grinch this year. At least Aram looked excited, and Cooper noticed him look Samar's way wistfully from where she stood beside him.

"I believe it is safe to say we have had a very successful year. As you all know, it's reaching Christmas time. A time for celebrations and frivolity. I thought what better way, than to do the traditional Secret Santa." He glanced at Agent Keen, who didn't look entirely present in the room. "I am sure you all know how this works. I took the time last night to write down the names. All you have to do now is pick a name out of the Santa hat, and then you'll know who you are buying a gift for. Are we ready?"

He grinned and moved towards Amar, who nervously plunged a hand in the Santa hat, feeling around the numerous papers in there.

_Please Samar, please let it be Samar,_ he thought to himself desperately. Then he caught a piece of paper between his fingers and drew it out.

"Don't show anyone," Cooper reminded him sternly, then he moved to Agent Ressler next.

"Are you kidding me with all this?" Ressler asked doubtfully. "You do realize Christmas is mainly for the kids, right?"

Cooper gave him a look, and Ressler sighed before shoving his hand inside and pulling out the first piece of paper he found. Cooper moved to Agent Navabi next, and at least she didn't complain like Ressler did. She gave Cooper a tight-lipped smile before drawing out her piece of paper, and she curled it open with her fingers impatiently to see who her Secret Santa was. Cooper watched her face deflate a little and he chuckled quietly to himself before moving to Agent Keen.

"Your turn, Agent Keen," he told her gently, and she reached inside the Santa hat, her fingers touching a piece of paper almost instantly. She grasped it and drew it out, picking it open with her fingernails.

Oh, great.

_Reddington._

Of all the people she had to randomly choose, it had to be Red? She sighed deeply. It was going to be hard to pick out a gift for him; Someone like him, who had practically everything he could ever want or need. Why was Cooper putting them through this?

Cooper picked out his own piece of paper from in the hat and sat the hat on the table, watching everyone's reactions.

Liz was lost at sea, stressing over what Red would possibly want as a gift, when Ressler sidled up to her. "Hey Keen," he whispered, nudging her shoulder, "Who'd you get?"

"Reddington," she confessed under her breath, not completely happy by that.

"Damn, that sucks."

"Who'd you get?"

"Aram."

Liz considered that, weighing it all up in her head. "So that means either Cooper or Samar or Aram got you." She looked around, belatedly realizing Red wasn't in the room. "Sir, Reddington's not here. He didn't get a name?"

"Yes, and he doesn't need one," Cooper informed her. "I believe it's obvious who Reddington will buy for this Christmas." Cooper said it in a way that told her it was meant to mean something to her, but she couldn't say she was following. She stared at him blankly, but then he shrugged, raising his voice and addressing the team again, "Okay, now that the fun part is over, let's get to work. We have stuff to do."

Despite focusing on the work they had to do, the names of who they had to buy for still lingered in the back of their minds. Aram was searching through the database, when Liz cornered him. "Hey, Aram. Who'd you get on the Secret Santa?"

He pressed a finger to his lips, warning her not to ruin the secret. Then he showed her the name on his piece of paper.

Samar. He looked glad, all things considered.

"That was the name I wanted in the first place," he admitted to her, his voice trembling with excitement. "What are the odds?"

"Nice," Liz sang, patting him on the shoulder congratulatory. It was no secret to her Aram had quite the soft spot for Samar. "What do you think you'll get her?"

"I... I don't know." Aram frowned. "I guess I haven't thought of that yet. But if you have any ideas, that would be totally awesome?"

She smiled at him. "I think I have a pretty decent idea."

"What? I'm all ears."

"Mistletoe," she answered, with a sly wink.

"Mistletoe?" he whispered back at her uncertainly.

"Yeah, you know. Mistletoe." He clearly wasn't getting it. "Get her under some mistletoe and, you know. Give her a kiss."

"Oh, right. That's the best idea. You don't mind if I use it, do you? I mean, you're not gonna use it on the person you got, right? Or... are you?"

_Use the whole mistletoe-thing on Red?_

"There's not a chance in hell I'm using the whole mistletoe thing on my guy. Especially not considering a while back I assumed he was my father. That'd be kind of awkward for him, you know?"

"Who is your guy?" Aram looked around, making sure no one was near them. "Agent Ressler?"

"Nope. Reddington."

"Oh." Aram gave her a long look of pity, as if he felt sorry for her having to buy a gift for the criminal. "Well, I'm glad I'm not you right now. On the bright side, mistletoe would still work, though?"

Liz tried to imagine herself getting Red cornered under some mistletoe. She tried to imagine herself actually getting close enough to kiss him on the mouth. Kissing Reddington was not something she imagined herself doing easily. Red was attractive, intelligent, and a pain, yes. But kissing him? Not possible. Then she found herself wondering who had drawn out her name. It wasn't Ressler, or Aram. _Samar? Cooper?_

"Do you know who got me?"

Aram frowned, narrowing his dark brown eyes in thought. "I...I don't think so." He shrugged and turned back to the computer screen. "Anyway, good luck. Glad I'm not you."

"Thanks. I think I'm actually gonna need it."

Liz pursed her lips thoughtfully, wondering what she was going to do. What could she get Reddington?

A hat? Heaven knows, he probably already had plenty of them as it was...

A new neck tie? A pair of socks?

Yeah, no. That seemed like something a wife would do, a gift a wife would buy her husband.

Mistletoe? _Hmmm._ But that would mean they would have to share a kiss, and who knew how Red would feel if she moved in to pucker one on him? She didn't exactly want to cross any lines or make him feel uncomfortable in doing so. At least Aram had some luck in getting Samar; the person he initially wanted to buy a gift for in the first place. But Liz found herself really stuck. _What on earth was she going to get Reddington?_

How ironic it was, that she was the one he mainly spoke to and spent time with and, yet, she was clueless when it came to knowing what to get him as a gift. _Goddamn Cooper for making all of them do this silly thing._ Maybe Ressler was right? Isn't Christmas solely for the children?

Maybe she could subtly snoop around and ask Reddington what he liked or needed? He usually was never very forthcoming with her, however. When she met up with him later in the day, she found him by himself in the park, in the middle of a game of chess by himself.

When she went to move one of the knights on him as a joke, he made a noise of frustration and swatted her hand away. "Uh-uh. Don't touch, Lizzie."

"Red, what do you need?" she asked him, straight-to-the-point.

"What do I need?" He glanced up at her, finally giving her his attention. "Well, that's a tricky question, isn't it? Who ever really knows what they truly need in life?"

"Please, don't get all philosophical on me. I mean, in terms of..._ things_." She found it hard to phrase it so he didn't get suspicious; If he found out early that he was her Secret Santa and that she was buying him a gift, the whole thing would be blown. "Socks? Hats? Another pen to the neck?"

She fought against the urge to look away from his eyes as he sat up straighter, eyeing her unnervingly with his head cocked to the side. "Why do you ask, Lizzie? Why all these questions?"

"It's nothing," she said firmly. "I just need to know what you need. Is there anything at all?"

"Honestly, Lizzie?"

"Yes," she huffed out impatiently. "_Please_ be honest with me."

He pointed at something behind her, an inch or two above her shoulder. "Honestly, I need one of those." Turning to look, her stomach sank when she realized he was pointing to a stand where a man was selling scoops of lime sorbet ice-cream. It wasn't exactly the answer she had looked for. "Sitting here, it's been nagging at me all morning. It's like it's teasing me, Lizzie. Let's call this game a 'checkmate', and let's get some ice-cream."

Red really wasn't going to make it easy on her. But for the sake of keeping everything peaceful between them, she followed him over and got some ice-cream herself.

_**Hope you enjoyed the beginning? I don't know if it's too early for a Christmas fic, but oh well. :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_I hope you enjoy this chapter. :-) Not long for Christmas now._**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter Two<em>**

Once they got their ice-creams, they walked across the park together at a relaxed, slow pace, the ground slick with snow. It was freezing outside, and Liz couldn't help shivering, despite the fact she was wearing gloves and a heavy thick coat. The ice cream made her teeth chatter, but when she looked over at Red who was silently content licking his, with his gloves on, his scarf and overcoat, the weather didn't appear to be affecting him as much as it was affecting her.

_Whose bright idea was it to get ice cream in this frosty weather? _

"Um, you do realize it's snowing out, right?" she pointed out, feeling an uncomfortable sensation of brain-freeze coming on; From the combination of the icy air blowing and smarting across her face, as well as the ice-cream. "We're at a serious risk of our lips falling off after this. Whose smart idea was it to get ice cream in this weather?"

"Why should one ever deny themselves the simple pleasures of ice-cream, Lizzie?" Red said, making her realize how much of a big kid he could be sometimes. "Besides I'm sure we can come up with some nifty and creative ways to get the circulation flowing to our lips again, if need be."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" she asked, and then she belatedly understood the instance the question left her mouth. She peered over at him, finding Red's eyes on her lips. He had a bit of ice-cream smeared on the corner of his lip and he probably didn't even know he did. _But did he mean kissing as a way to get the circulation flowing?_ Surely not. "You know what, forget I even asked," she muttered under her breath quickly, unnerved by the idea. "I think I get it now. It took me a moment too long, but I think I get what you're trying to say..."

Red started eating his ice-cream again, doing things with his tongue to it that Liz never knew a man could do. He was literally molesting the ice-cream and, dare she even admit it, it was kind of... fascinating to watch. She just stared at him for a while longer without him knowing, maybe wishing even that she was the ice-cream herself, which was just... plain weird, even for her. She was broken out of her spell when he threw a curious look her way, and, suddenly conscious of the ice-cream cone she was holding in her gloved hand, she started sucking it, her stomach in tight funny little knots.

_What was wrong with her? Getting envious that she wasn't an ice-cream cone? Since when did she harbor these kind of strange feelings for Reddington? Because, frankly, it was news to her._

"How are you going with your ice-cream, Lizzie?" Red asked her after a moment of silence passed between them. She was thankful he had started talking again, because it was getting too quiet.

"Yeah, it... it's nice," she said quietly.

He killed her father. And now she was expected to buy him a gift for this ridiculous Secret Santa crap Cooper came up with? Wouldn't that be like rewarding him for ruining her life?

"Can I try some of yours?"

The off-hand question startled her and she peered over at him. He had already demolished his entire ice-cream, and his lips looked a little faded in color and blue. "Go for your life," she said, handing the ice-cream carefully to him. "I think I'm done anyway. Ice-cream at this time of the year just doesn't work for me."

"Don't tell me you're like all the rest when it comes to indulging in some ice-cream, Lizzie. God, some people _really do need_ to step outside of the box..."

"Oh, which reminds me," she gasped, her hand automatically touching his arm to halt him from their walking as she was brought back to why she had met up with him in the first place. After all, it wasn't for ice-cream and spying on him while he did sinful things with his tongue. "Speaking of what people really do need, why _don't you _tell me what _you need_? Anything at all?"

She watched his face carefully, hopefully, as he met her eyes. She realized her error all too soon, when he started licking her neglected ice-cream this time around, as if it was nothing to be doing it in front of her. God, what was wrong with her today? She blamed it on the weather and the slight brain-freeze she was now suffering from.

"Socks? Underwear? Anything?"

He stopped from walking dramatically as he looked away from her. She saw him smile with the corner of his mouth. "Are you buying me a gift this year, Lizzie? Is that what all of this is about?"

She tried to look as insulted as she possibly could. It wasn't hard to act that way, when she thought of all the terrible things he had done ever since first coming into her life. "Is that what you think?" She got in front of him, eyeing him with the coldest look she could muster. He appeared to lose sudden appetite for the ice-cream then, and she laughed spitefully, her breaths coming out in misty clouds. "You think that I'm buying you a gift? I haven't forgiven you for murdering my father and I'm never going to. You've ruined my life thus far, yet you're quick to come to the conclusion that I'm buying you a gift for Christmas?"

She could see her words were having their meant effect, when he swallowed audibly. As he squinted at her face, she noticed the various emotions shining in his eyes. She had him in the palm of her hand, she knew all the ways to seriously get to him. And he was eating it all up, believing her so easily.

"I simply ask what you need for Christmas because I wonder what a kind of man like you needs," she continued, spitting each syllable out through clenched teeth.

"The kind of man like me, Lizzie?" he repeated slowly, his voice falling an octave lower than it usually was.

"A monster like you." She was torturing him and she could see as much with the bleak expression on his face. "What does a monster like you want for Christmas, Red? How about a pitchfork up the ass or some coal? How's that for a gift?" She had usually spent most of her time repressing her anger at him for the sake of getting cases done, but now it was getting a bit difficult.

With his usual bravado, he shrugged her harsh comments off, licking the ice-cream and savoring the flavor before answering, "A pitchfork to the ass? Now that's an unusual yet fitting gift, isn't it, Lizzie?"

"I think a pitchfork to the ass would be less than what you deserve," she said stiffly. She realized she wasn't exactly getting into the spirit of Christmas. It was meant to be a fun and relaxing time, yet here she was, hurling threats and mean comments his way. She sucked in a deep breath, and let it out, purposefully making her voice less harsh, "Cooper's throwing a Christmas party at the office."

Red shuddered theatrically. "Oh, no. Not the dreaded yearly Christmas party."

"Yeah, and you better be there. You can't run away this year."

"What, come along and risk you pitchforking me in the ass? I think I'll skip out on this one this year, Lizzie." She wondered what her expression looked like then at his words, whether she looked as disappointed or desperate as she for some reason felt, because he relented with a soft sigh. "Or not. Maybe I will show up. Maybe getting pitchforked in the ass is worth it just to see you in your Christmas garb. Will you be dressing as Santa's Little Helper, Lizzie? Will you be going around, sitting on laps?"

"Go to hell," she grumbled icily. "And you better turn up."

"You agree to sit on my lap during the evening, and it's a promise that I'll come, Lizzie."

"Absolutely not. There's not a chance in hell that I'll be sitting on your lap, Reddington. But you keep on wishing that, if it makes you feel any better about attending this thing."

He was silent for a moment, staring at her, looking pensive and thoughtful, his teeth gnawing on the side of his cheek. "Oh, well. If not the lap then there is always the mistletoe to look forward to." He made a show of dropping the ice-cream into the snow and rubbing his gloved hands together, like a mischievous elf plotting against her. "You're going to enjoy it, Lizzie; I'm going to be luring you back and forth to where the mistletoe sits on top of the ceiling all night, I promise you. This is gonna be fun. You're gonna think you're in hell!"

Liz knew he was most likely just teasing her, but some part inside of her, deep down, was left feeling a little bit unsure.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked him uncertainly. "About the whole mistletoe and lap thing?"

"I'll let you decide that for yourself on the night. I wouldn't hold your breath, though."

Despite their trying conversations together, Liz spent all night after work searching in stores for something to get Red as part of her Secret Santa gift.

The shops were open later than usual, for the festive season, so she used it to her advantage in perusing through the shelves of various stores, trying to find something for the world's most irritating criminal mastermind. Obviously a fake pitchfork was out of the question; Those were more so for Halloween, so that ruled that out of the equation.

She found herself in the stationary aisle, where all the pens, pencils and notepads were. There were Christmas-themed pens with reindeers and Santa hats all over them, and she considered buying one, just as a joke, so he could reflect fondly on the memory of her hurting him that night in his hotel room. She vowed to herself she would never inflict that much pain on him again, as she had the first time she whammed a pen in his throat. But _goddamn it_, if she wasn't tempted to do it again.

She found a book called 'World's Largest Book of Sudoku Puzzles' and assumed he'd like that, considering she knew the man loved his crossword puzzles. That was one small gift, and now she had to find something else. She bit her lip as she went into the menswear section, eyeing off all the Egyptian cotton dress shirts. A man couldn't have too many shirts, right? _Oh god, what could she possibly get him?_

She remembered when Christmas time came, how much of a struggle it always had been on her just to buy Tom something. It was far more difficult with Reddington, considering he was, no doubt, without nothing.

_Except maybe a woman..._

An amused groan got stuck in her throat as she imagined hiring a prostitute for him. Red never showed he had interest in many women, at least not in front of her much. There was a bit of a thing she suspected had been going on between him and Samar, something that made her feel a little pissed off, but as far as she knew, he wasn't seeing anyone at present.

She strolled off into the women's wear section, curiously looking at the Christmas-themed outfits. One was a bit racy; A costume definitely too risqué for a work function; Red and green, with a ridiculous hat and a _very_ short skirt with fluffy white trimming and knee-length socks to go with it. Then again, Red did make that comment about her being dressed as Santa's Little Helper...

Maybe he would like that, as part of his gift? Not that she was actually going to let him unwrap her or anything horrific like that.

But since she was sort of at a loss with any good ideas regarding what to get him, and he certainly hadn't helped her out, it seemed the only one she could come up with. She imagined with some satisfaction, the look on his face once she showed up, wearing the outfit. She'd wager it would wipe that smug, closed-lipped smile off his face for good.

She just hoped he'd like it. And also, that the other Agents wouldn't give her grief about it on the night.

**Hope this one wasn't too crazy/silly. I'll try to update before Christmas as soon as possible, where Liz attends the Christmas party at the Post Office in possibly a very ridiculous outfit and Red keeping true to his word about torturing her all night. Lol. I do hope they aren't too away from character, but it's just a silly fic for Christmas, and I love writing Red stirring Lizzie up. Apologies about any mistakes, English isn't my first language. **


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